A stranger

Hi Endang,
Get ready for something a little naughty!

A stranger walks into a pub and sees a horse next to the bar with a
sign on him “Bet $20.00 and make me laugh and win all the money in
the pot on the bar” the stranger says to the old man sitting in
front of his beer at the bar who was watching his every move “Is
that for real”??? The old man says “It sure is, and no one has made
him laugh yet. Do ya wanna have a go?” and the old man has a
chuckle to himself. “All right then, says the stranger and puts up
the twenty dollars. He goes over to the horse and whispers in his
ear. The horse snorts with a big grin on his face… The whole bar
stops in stunned silence. The old man cannot believe his eyes. He
gives the stranger all the money in the pot and watches him put the
money in his jacket pocket, under his cap, and into his shoulder
bag.

When the stranger had left, the old man and his mates in the pub
discussed the unbelievable event. The old man keen to start another
challenge said: Okay he could make the old nag laugh but he sure
can’t make him cry. So they put up a new sign ” Bet $30.00 and make
the horse cry”. 1 week later the same stranger comes into the pub
and asks the old man if he could have a go at making the horse cry.
The old man figured he can’t be lucky twice and said “Sure, put up
the 30 dollars and go for it….” The stranger did and asked the
old man if he could take the horse out back ,promising he would not
beat or hurt the horse in any way… The old man told him if anyone
hurt that horse they would be a dead man, and agreed to it. After
about 5 minutes the stranger lead the horse back into the pub and
it was very evident the horse had tears streaming down his face
!!!! The old man was stunned and asked the stranger what he did to
make the horse laugh earlier and cry just now….. The stranger
again taking the money and tucking it away said “A weeks ago , I
murmured that my dong was bigger than his, today I took him out
back and showed him !!!!”

Cheers
Claire
Jokemaster

The talented Salesman

Hi Endang,
Are you in sales or do you know anyone who is? They can learn from
this talented young fellow….
Enjoy your weekly laughter treat!

The talented Salesman

Young Brad from the country applied for a salesman’s job at a city
department store. It was one of those massive stores that sells
just about everything.
The boss asked him, “Have you ever worked in sales before?” “Yes, I
was a salesman in my home town,” said Brad. The boss liked him
instantly and said, “I’ll give you a trial day here at the store,
start tomorrow, and I’ll come and see you after closing time to see
how you went.”
When the boss met up with young Brad the next day at closing time,
he saw him shaking hands with a beaming customer. After they
parted, the boss walked over and asked, “Well, that looked good!
How many sales did you make today?” “That was the only one,” said
the young salesman. “Only one!?!” blurted the boss. “Most of my
staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. You’ll have to do better than
that! Well, how much was the sale worth?”
“Three hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred fifty two
dollars,” said young Brad. The boss stopped, truly stunned now .
“Uhm, how did you manage that?!?” “Well, when he came in this
morning and I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium
hook, and then a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing
line, a medium one, and then a big one. I then sold him a spear
gun, a wetsuit, scuba gear, nets, chum, coolers, and a keg of beer.
I asked him where he was going fishing and he said up the coast. We
decided he would probably need a new boat, so I took him down to
the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the
twin engines.
Then, he said that his old bomb car probably wouldn’t be able to
pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new
Deluxe Cruiser, with a winch, storage rack, seat heating, and a
built-in TV. Oh, and cup holders.”
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold
all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!”
“No,” answered the salesman. “He came in to buy a blanket.”
“A blanket?”
“Yeah, an extra blanket for the couch. He just had a fight with his
wife and was sleeping on the couch. I said to him, ‘Well, your
weekend’s ruined, so you might as well go fishing…’”

Now that’s a good sales person…

LOL
Claire
Your Jokemaster

Blondes and Computers

Blondes and Computers

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond,
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the
mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed
back into her house. A little later she came out of her house
again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut
again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was
getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to
the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To
which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps
telling me I’ve got mail!”

Girls, next week it’s your turn to have a laugh about the guys!
Until then
Cheers
Claire

A Farmer

When a successful farmer died, he left everything to his devoted
wife.
She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the farm,
but knew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a farm hand.
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied
she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have
him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and
knew a lot about farming.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the farm was doing very
well. Then one day, the woman said to the guy, “You have done a
really good job here over the last few weeks. You should go into
town and have some fun.”
The guy readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock, and
he still wasn’t home.
He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found
the farmer’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,
waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her. “Unbutton my blouse and take it
off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
“Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them
neatly by her boots.
“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.
“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he
was told and dropped it to the floor.
“Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” By the light of the fire,
he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into
town again, you’re fired.”